teenage dreams are hard to beat.

originally i attempted to separate my fashion and design blog from my writing blog, but it seems impossible for me to disassociate the two, because everything i have been working towards is on the level of the other and all of the clothes i make are to cover up all of the skeletons i write about in phantoms and the space program. i grew up in a house that my parents slowly built, together, starting when they were 18, with a garden and animals and an enormous wandering world. both my parents, if they don't know how to do something, they learn it. they put it into practice. they master it and it becomes their own.

 

part out of necessity and part for the fun of it, through grade school my mom made almost everything i wore. i had the most killer harem pants in third grade and the most delicious jumpers all in crayon colors. she would sew clothes out of fabrics i liked while i painted tee shirts in her sewing room. i constantly had to try on the shells to make sure they fit and the end result would fit perfectly. in high school she made every single gown i ever wore and even now she still makes the most intricate and beautiful and completely mind blowing things. things that it is going to take me thirty years to learn how to do. (dresses and tops and skirts she has made for herself that i have completely bogarted and wear out dancing and to the ballet). i did not fully realize how talented my mother is until i went to the metropolitan's "model as muse" exhibit last summer and saw all of the hand sewn couture Dior and YSL gowns. instantly i thought, hell my mother makes things more intricate and far better formed that this! and it was all so hilarious! every visitor was so serious, like the were at church, and it was all such a funny little occasion. i couldn't wait to get back and harass her about new things and i felt so lucky to have such a cool mom. so part of all this will be about my mom and what she makes (though she has no idea i'm posting such things she's really shy about her talents).

part is going to be about my friends, because i love them and they are all the most beautiful girls and they are fun and they totally animate my ideas. part about all the stupid things i read-- i read everything, nonstop-- because everything informs everything else and it's all more like a circle, truly. and in my life, design is synonymous with art and beauty and the natural world. it's about creating a face to present. it's a functional perspective. i grew up surrounded by a beautiful world, creating a face to meet the day on the other side of the gate, where the rest of the world keeps time.

partly it's a tremendous escape. a way of locking myself in for days, giving up the ghost and forgetting the world, focusing on the perfect cuts and stitches and lines and curves. of getting it right, of watching every single twin peaks episode, being in the room nine hours and just glowing because it came out aces. it is putting faces and arms on ideas and feeling.