ready steady GO

lately i have been having this strange feeling of having a slight on screen background part in my own life. like i made the machine work so well, i put all those years and all of those dimes into it, and now it just runs itself. it exists to exist. this is no existential crisis or anything, it is more like a hibernation period. okay. truth. i lived alone for along time and man was it the bees knees. sure, i got lonely, but it was nothing a good film and a hot shower could not fix. then i moved in with ian and my life is super awesome, i did not even think about being alone in a space. but ian went on a business trip last week and hells bells, i had the best time ever. just being alone in a space. i am happy he is back and glad to have him in my bed but there is a part of me that is still adjusting; i just don't want to end up one of those 40 something women that wear blue eyeshadow and candy bracelets. 

 for example, i went shopping for a pair of high waisted mini shorts this weekend. i found a great pair of roxy shorts from the little girls department that fit me perfectly. they were black denim with white hearts. i would have bought these heart shorts if they were not from the girls department. i dont know why it bothers me. ian thinks it is cute i can wear kid clothes but i dont know. i know i dress pretty outrageous for most and i like to push it a lot. maybe i am just in a mood. maybe i just need to get out of my head and have some fun.

 next week i am going to a sewing and design convention for a few days then i am going to atlanta over spring break. this getting out should get me out of my face. and have a week in virginia, a week in north carolina and a week marlin fishing on little gasparilla planned between now and summer. then there is summer and i would really like to get over to europe for a few weeks.