Thursday, September 26, 2013

"Mind you, they took a pint of puss out of that lovely young body of hers."

 me:  what happened? you ok?
 Tim: the dr cut me open
         with a scalpel and numbing spray, but it didnt do too much
         then he started squeezing out the pus
         it took almost 10 mintues to drain it all
         towards the bottom of it, there was a lot of pain
         it even forced me to scream and sweat
         then he said there were cysts
         he said that i may want to consider surgery to get them out
         but, he thought he could get them. however, it would be very painful
         so, he squeezed and worked a lot of the cyst out
 Tim: it was basically the same as a surgery, but he didnt put me under and there were no drugs.
 me:  holy shit
         that's insane
         how did that thing even get there?????????
         I could never have gone through that.
         how much puss came out?
 Tim: i dont know but they took a specimen to find out exactly what it was. they said they
          should know by monday when i have to go back and see how everything is going
          there was way more pus then you would even think bc it was hidden deep in there too
          when it shrunk, none of the pus left me, so it was probably enough to fill the big lump i had
 me:  whoa
         is it still a lump?
 Tim:i was screaming and sweating when he was doing it. im sure everyone there was freaked
         out there's nothing there really, except for a three inch incision that needs to be covered
         for a little while
 me:  whoa
         that's madness
         serious madness
 Tim:  it was a horrible pain. the scene probably looked pretty 19th century
           the only tools were a box of gauze, a scalpel, and the dr pulling shit out of my body
 me:  oh my God.
 Tim:  i feel better now though
 me:  was the doctor surprised about how big it had gotten?
 Tim:  yeah, he was shocked. the same nurse was there and she was horrified by the whole scene
         the dr said it was far from their daily routine
 me:  was the doctor freaked out
 Tim:  no, he kind of liked it
           i pointed that out and we both laughed about it
           then i told him "well, if you didnt think that was fun you wouldnt be a doctor"
           he admitted that that was true
 me:  this reminds me of Salinger in Zooey
         when Buddy is taking the plane to Florida to get Seymour's body, and he is behind a veil, 
         crying hysterically on the airplane.
         as the plane was about to land, he overhears this well-to-do woman, in this upper class
         Boston accent,
         "Mind you, they took a pint of puss out of that lovely young body of hers."
         And Buddy got off the plane smiling when he met Seymour's awful wife, Muriel, and she
         was dressed like the Bereaved Widow, and he was wearing the Wrong Expression.
         But he was the one that was really mourning, even though it was all wrong.
 Tim:  that sounds very similar
 me:  I don't think there is any other way to extract so much puss without being archaic.
 Tim:  i dont think so either. the most painful part was the cyst
           i got myself a cookie afterwards as a reward
 me:  what kind of cookie?
 Tim: oatmeal raisin from circle k. i also got you an orange vitamin water bc they had them in
 me:  man, you're sweet.
 Tim:  not as sweet as you


David White said...

One cookie? Boy, Tim knows how to splurge! said...

he is a man of simple pleasures.