american made.

not gonna lie. when i was a kid, i thought the hulk was the coolest. part way, for sure, because it was easy to think that my dad was totally like the hulk-- big and blonde and rough and tumble cool. even when i see old videos of the hulk, it is automatic that i feel this welling pride this sense of nostalgia for what being American meant to me when i was small. i wanted to be a super american. a super girl scout super gymnast super cheerleader and track star. a super kid born and raised. 

i mean, there's photos of me posing in from of a patriotic themed christmas tree when i was nine years old, with a brownie girl scout sash full of patches, all blonde hair and big smiles. and BORN IN THE USA is still my favorite album of all time and nothing makes my heart jive like springsteen in tight jeans and a red bandanna, 

 

but i am sure that is partially creeping nostalgia for what i want being american to feel like again.

on my way out to the island this morning i was riding on the interstate in my old volkswagen and it was non stop grey sky and rain. then all the sudden this huge, blonde mustached viking on a harley rode past me and he was just with it and in it and he did not seem to feel the rain at all. we both got to downtown at the same time and in front of the art museum he pulled a black raincoat from his saddle bag, put his leather vest away, and just kept on when the light changed. that was so cool. so not put on and so american. or at least what i want it to feel like.



i really miss the heart.