Thursday, September 1, 2011

on the moon.

while I was in DC last week a tremendous volume of very strange circumstantial things happened. the kind of things that are terribly profound and force one to constantly consider the reality of the situation one is in. this has happened before. but never, ever in this way.

these are those small, strange days that one can peel away from the many and, looking through the transparency of the world and of the hours, know that these were the few days when the universe pressed you finally down a path. when life is at its end or something lagging and grey beyond the sun, these will be the days in my skull that changed everything-- a strong force pressing me, sight unseen.

 last week shook up my whole world-- a tiny plastic thing in a snow globe, with all the earthquakes and hurricanes, all the world a tumbling beauty. and when the world pulled itself together for a moment, and i could watch the cardinals in the trees, feeding and sleeping and dreaming, i did not see this to be the same place at all. 

 it is like being on the moon and looking at the sun across the way and seeing both as equally attainable, equally transparent things. parts of a whole that one wears different clothes for, different boots for, speaks a new language for, and organizes the brain in some correlated way. and never once realizing this world was here the whole time. 

i miss last week very much, even more so because it feels very far away from me. a ship that stowed me away from where i used to be to where i am now. and standing on this beach, after all the work and toil for years and years, after kicking up all that sand and hunting worms, do i realize how completely lucky i am. and that the world always opens up at the right time.

aside from the writing and editing, i am working at the university of tampa as an adjunct professor teaching 2 composition and rhetoric classes and i am also working as a tutor (as a contractor for hillsborough county) for students from low income families that attend high risk schools. 

every school i ever attended from elementary through high school is on that list, which is a very strange things because it never occured to me while i was growing up. morgan woods elementary was always this crazy beauty to me where my young mind was in a space to think and do the most outrageous, most wonderful things. i hope kids still feel like that.

1 comment:

Daddy-O said...

YOU will make the kids think and do the most outrageous and wonderful things!!