i woke up with that strange feeling that is hard to shake. the one that makes things seem more complicated or want to seem more complicated than they really are. i woke up with a jamison skull and my brain has been rocking between my ears all day. nothing feels like it is nailed down today. everything seems to be chattering and quaking.
i rode my bicycle to the vegetable stand and swamp man called me "kiddo" like he always does but he did not say much else beyond that and i did not either. i bought honey that is made in my neighborhood that is supposed to be almost as sweet as freedom and 100% from the hood.
i would like to meet these people. i think these are the kind of people i am looking for that i am always looking for. i will just carry the bottle around in my bicycle basket and follow the address to the urban keepers. listening for that steady hum that is so frantic and in such union it falls like a lull.
i went to the gym for a long while i came home and showered and i am still grading papers and reading books and reading things and all the windows are open and the door is open and i can hear the men across the pond talking and drinking and playing golf and the afternoon sun is here.
and the house just seems a wobbly thing and the world seems all the same trembling turning thing and really what i think i need right now is someone that makes me laugh.
i need someone to sit next to me on this tiny wool love seat and say something painfully funny something that would shake my brain into place and shake my heart shake it to make sure it is awake. something to remind my heart what it is here to do because everyone i have talked to sees very blue today or maybe it is something like the mean reds and i feel like i have not really really laughed at something terribly funny for a long while and this is probably just one of those shaky feelings, something that could be very untrue, but it just feels very real right now and i would like to be laughed awake.