Friday, January 17, 2014

beauty and pregnancy: everything is not always awesome, but it can be made to be better.



at thirty-four weeks pregnant, there is really nothing beyond mental stamina and the fight complex that makes things better. I always hear such nonstop bad news stories about pregnancy, and then I hear the opposite, women saying that they looveeeee being pregnant, which I cannot believe to be true either. throughout my pregnancy, I have attempted to be as graceful as possible, despite the definite gravity. I always think about how women with far more to do than I have ever had to do, like frontier women and women in Europe during WWII, women now in war ravaged countries, women with no drinking water, no electricity, women that got pregnant against their will; I think about how they got through it, and definitely had a worse time of it, so I have absolutely no grounds to complain, so I don't. but I am not one of those being-pregnant-is-the-greatest-thing-ever women either, so for the sake of balance, objectivity, staying sane and helping each other, here is the downside of the third trimester, especially when it relates to weather:


one. nothing fits. and I live in Florida, and I have been a size zero / extra small throughout my teenage and adult life, so this definitely extends to my winter wear. even more so because I live in Florida, and we never get to wear winter wear, so we all own the cutest, most fitted things we can find, which is absolutely not helpful when pregnant.  I bought one pair of pregnancy leggings, and I have worn and washed them so much, they're see-through. I did not know they were see-through until one day, while my mom and I were picking up lunch, she said, you know I can see your butt. and no, I definitely did not know, but later on that day, I told my husband, and he said, I know, I thought it was cute. mostly, I live in these see-through tights, with fitted, long tunics and boyfriend sweaters. jeans and tights are kind of the last thing I want to wear because I do not like anything touching my tum for too long. I wear pencil skirts to work, which my mom made me to get through pregnancy, but even those can be kind of suffocating. I think that suffocating feeling has a lot to do with pregnancy, especially because the lungs and tum get little room at all. yesterday, Tim brought me lunch at work, and we had to eat at my desk between classes. when my 1102 class came in, they were not only shocked at how big my husband is, but how big the baby is going to be and how small I still am. so I said, oh no, I'm definitely growing. none of my clothes fit! I can't wait to wear my clothes again. Tim laughed and said that I wear his sweaters, which he finds cute, and I find slightly embarrassing. as seen before in this number one, Tim has strange ideas about things that are cute, but it is true. I live in his sweaters when I am at home, but it was way way sexier when I had a little lithe body. there is no advice to change this. the best thing I can do is to amp up other things that make me feel confident.

two. my skin is incredibly sensitive. it is most of the time anyway, but since I have been pregnant, it has been thirty times more sensitive. if Tim lets his facial hair grow for even three days, when he kisses me I get a terrible rash. I use tons of Clinique moisturizer and I am on my third ball of eos lip balm. shaving can definitely eat up my legs as well, so I usually put cocoa butter on my legs before I shower and shave, and then put Palmer's cocoa oil on when I get out of the shower. I also use a heavy eye cream because I have to sleep on my side, and as most women know, sleeping on the side, and not on the back, causes wrinkles. No one needs that. also, because of the higher levels of estrogen, my belly and thighs are almost as sensitive as my face, so I use an apricot scrub on my belly and face, and moisturize once a day (after a shower). the good news is, the skin gets better during pregnancy. I don't break out, so eye liner or lipstick look great because there is nothing else really. though, I actually have not worn lipstick since I've been pregnant. I think it's mostly because I only wear red lipstick, and red lips are overtly sexy, and I am absolutely not trying to be overtly sexy right now.

three. hair. due to estrogen and vitamins, my hair has grown really fast, but the cold weather makes it really dry, so I use a deep conditioner once a week, which I leave in my hair for an hour or so, and everyday I use a leave in conditioner. I was using a treatment oil for a while, but it seemed too heavy. I wear a lot of hats and a lot of braids, anything that makes me feel good. honestly, the act of getting dressed and trying to make myself look good makes me feel much better, which makes my outlook better, and I get more accomplished. the days that I don't accomplish anything, everything kind of feels worse.

four. circulation. my only circulation problem is that I'm always cold, which is worse when it is cold outside because, like number one listed, I have no clothes, and also because it is colder in my apartment than it is outside. today, I finally broke down and turned the heater on in the apartment, and no less than ten seconds later, the fire alarm went off and the apartment smells burnt. so yeah, I am still cold, and still in Tim's sweater until I get dressed.

five. not really being able to workout like I used to is a bummer, and seeing myself on this dramatic down slope until the baby is born and I can workout again is a bummer too, but no matter what, every single day my husband makes me feel sexy, which his probably easier because he thinks everything is cute. but it is so important. I mostly ignore the negative things that people say because mostly, I think people are either dumb, self righteous, jealous or inhuman to say some of the things I have heard. truthfully, most people are tactful and kind and smile at me for no good reason. it's important to keep things in perspective and to still enjoy your husband and your life while pregnant. I don't want to be a woman that gives pregnancy a bad name or that perpetuates those stereotypes. everyday I go to class, one of my students tell me that they are shocked that I am in such a good mood, but I am still the same person I always have been. if anything, I just have a far better understanding of myself and I definitely do not define beauty in the same way, and that's not a cop out or an all excepting mentality, I just feel like, for the first time in my life, I am seeing an entirely new dynamic of beauty, and maybe it is something that men have seen all along.





4 comments:

SummerGraceMeow said...

Everything you talk about experiencing is what i experience exactly since having a stroke. I cannot imagine it much worse, and my bf is really tall too. 6'7". Yeah so tall.

Lindsey Knowles said...

I will say, I hated being pregnant the first time and could not imagine how people could "love being pregnant". But the 2nd time I loved it much more, and look forward to a third ;)

phantoms and the space program. said...

that's interesting, Summer, I wonder why that is. i know you talk about it sometimes, but how long ago did you have a stroke? you're so young, it blows my mind.

phantoms and the space program. said...

&you have to tell me why you loved it more the second time. and a third?! how many babies do you want? the pregnancy has been fine, but lately, I've been really scared of the birth.