probably, like most everyone else in the world, sometimes, I really love to fantasize about what I would have done if when I were a kid, I would have cared a little more about where I would end up going, or at least, if I did not have a million directions I wanted to go into: if there was only one.
it would be easy for me to say that I have always wanted to be a writer because I have, pretty much, always been a writer. cut back all the way to first grade, and I wrote plays that were sequels and prequels to my favorite stories like Amelia Bedelia and Home Alone, and my friends and I would practice our lines, I would gather our props and create costumes, and we would perform my plays for the older grades.
in third grade, we were supposed to make haunted houses in Mrs. Lippencott's class, and she told us to use cereal boxes and she handed out dittos that we were supposed to color and glue to the front of said cereal boxes. I thought this was a terrible idea; I mean, at this age, my mom was making me hammer pants and cool crop tops, and anything I dreamed of wanting to wear, she could make. So, I left the ditto at home, and I made a haunted house diorama out of a shoe box. and it was awesome, but Mrs. Lippencott did not believe that I had made it, even after my mom wrote a note, so i had to make the cereal box house to get credit.
in fourth grade, my teacher thought I could not read, but it was only because I hated the stories she selected, and I would rather read my own books, so I did that instead. when Mrs. Mc. Elroy called my mom in for a conference to tell her I could not read, my mom laughed, and told her I had been reading since I was two. after that, I was put on the morning show, K.N.O.W. as a new anchor, the weather girl, and birthday girl.
and in fifth grade, my group in art class won a contest for a play I wrote about a Native American named Toe Jam; again, with the set and things, but this time, my friends came to my house, and my mom helped everyone design the greatest puppets ever. so, of course we won. we got to perform at a few retirement homes, have lunch at Mc Donalds, and be out of school for a day. we had our own bus and everything.
I made up dances in Girl Scouts, all nine years of Girl Scouts, and we would perform them at pow wows and lock ins.
I was a gymnast this whole time, and I was dead set on going to the Olympics, but then I broke my wrist and chickened out, so I went into track and cheer leading.
then art school.
then so on and what not. the point is that writing is not the thread that all of these things have in common; the only real thread is that I wanted to be a star, which is also, probably, like most people.
the only other thing in common with the life I had then and the one I have now is that I have always been obsessed with aesthetics, which is probably an even broader idea than being a star; because even the star part wasn't so important-- it's always been the art part, which is probably why I love Andy Warhol so so much.
Warhol is an arrow, and I am kind of a tumbleweed.
if I imagine correctly, and see the fantasies the way I want them to be, I would have gone to school for design. I would have moved to New York and studied fashion; I would have been hungry, and it would've been fine. don't get me wrong, being a professor is awesome, but it's mostly awesome because I like ideas and beauty. if I could do something else that had the same desire lines, I probably would try that too, which leads to another difference:
the reason why I am also obsessed with Edie Sedgwick, Warhol's muse. and this is the difference of being the party instead of watching the party. the part about not knowing and not planning and just moving; the idea to just keep moving, which is mostly a very childlike attribute, and something I think that Warhol was incapable of doing. his sickness and strangeness made him very serious at such a young age. I think I maybe became serious a year ago, but even that may not be true. I can think of only one thing I am whole-hearted about, and it's soon to be two, other than that, my serious may not be true.
however, there is an aspect of whimsy to Warhol, which cannot be understated. after he made it as a visual artist, he decide to go into films, then porn, then back to visual art, then to made-to-order prints of society's darlings, then back to visual art, and this entire time, he believed that the art of business is the greatest art of all.
so maybe it does all go together, which is why I find Warhol so engaging. I mean, he invented the term superstar and everything else that goes along with fifteen minutes of fame, but still no one knows much of anything about him. the best place to find Warhol is in his art, and
The Dali Museum in St Petersburg will have an amazing exhibit set up from tomorrow, Saturday 18 January to Sunday 27 April. The exhibit is called Warhol: Art. Fame. Morality., and it not only showcases tons of his prints on loan from The Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh, but every Saturday for the duration of the exhibit, they are playing Warhol's films.
I am so excited, I may go into labor. I have been trying to see his films for five years, and have even visited the MOMA on multiple occasions to see his exhibits, but never have they ever played one of his films.
So I am getting a year-long membership to the Dali because it is 21.00 every visit, but with a student or educator discount, it's only 40.00 for a year, and it is a tax write off.
so maybe it does all go together.
this is the Dali's events calendar, which includes Warhol's films that are being featured at the Dali, which are free to see with the cost of admission. let's go!