distortion

this is one of those weeks that i knew all along would be super busy (because it is finals week) but for some reason whenever i know i have a super busy week, i always seem to want to compound the hours, forcing time to be longer and more difficult. 

i read 40 research papers last weekend while working on home renovations because, i assumed, that by getting through those papers, this week i could work at the welding shop for three days because my dad has some big jobs in right now. dumb dumb dumb. i also thought that, hey, here is a free computer class on a program i need to know, so why not schedule that 2h class after working at the shop all day? yeah, i did that last night. i needed to get out of my usual space so

i put on my red lipstick and went to this independent dark red and golden thai restaurant and devoured a plate of tofu and veggies. i always order the amazing. for three reasons: one. i dig every kind of nut-based sauce. two. "amazing" is one of my favorite words, one of my subconscious go-to response words. so three. when the waitress asks how my food is, i always subconsciously respond with "amazing" because that's what i always say, but she laughs because she thinks i've made a joke she's probably heard a million times, and i laugh because i did not mean to be so corny. i do not do on purpose. i also sang lionel richie and the man closing up the suit shop really dug the sound. but probably of just someone being cheerful and singing the lionel richie album that the sub shop was blaring in the dark. 

it was then i decided that being busy is not so bad, but there is no way i will sanely be capable of holding up all these engagements this week and do well at all of them. i may do mediocre at all if i do not focus on one. and if i can be let down by anything, it is the space of time when i do something far below my capabilities and know if i would have changed it / rearranged it everything would have been amazing. so there, universe.  i picked up what you put down.