how to boil an egg.

 

been pretty busy with things. mostly reading and talking about writing and working on the garden and farm. google taught me to boil a perfect egg yesterday, which was fun because it came out perfect and the eggs were from an organic farm down the street. 

it may seem pretty silly that i do not know how to boil an egg because i cook so much. but a.) my grandma always boiled the eggs and b.) i grew up on a farm and nick and i would always have to collect the eggs in the morning and then eat them out of coffee mugs and they were often green eggs and the chickens were often angry and i was traumatized to not eat eggs for a long while. the eggs i buy from the farm down the street are organic and delicious but they have not paid the government to certify their foods organic, so printed on the eggs is this long rant about how they have to tell us that these eggs are not for human consumption and we have to promise they are to feed to our dogs, which i find awesome and hilarious. who knew eating an egg could be such a rebel yell. the world is so absurd.

actually, pretty much everything in my kitchen is local right now, meaning it is all organic fresh food. part of the reason is because ian and i buy organic when we can (so much so that we buy and eat no meat at home) and we just found a small organic hydroponic farm down the street from our house and we can ride our bikes there. the other reason is that after all the holiday festivities and then gasparilla and then the super bowl, i got really really sick. on sunday i was really nausous just riding in the bmw to ian's brother's house in land o lakes. i thought it was because we were driving so fast, but then on the way home he had to pull over and i threw up everywhere. then all day monday i was a wreck. so for the past few days i have only been eating all of the whole foods in the kitchen and taking careful consideration preparing all of my food (which amount to smoothies and salads) and i have been getting back into my workout regimen. since monday i have lost 4.4 lbs and i am not sick to my guts anymore. 

tough as nails.

i wish i were leaving the country for a while, going somewhere and putting my ear to the ground for a while, something that is so different that it can shake me awake without even my realizing it, which would be far better than a conscious shift because then i cannot mold it or observe it or study it like i always do. i cannot run endless experiments and experiences and then when i end up somewhere, shrugging and shaking my head, i cannot tell myself i have built more character. i have tremendous character. if i study it, i can probably come to the conviction that character is all i have, but that counts for more than most things i guess. but this is not sad or one of those kickingthesandaround ideas. it is another one of those point at it and look at it things

and i think going through the end of something is a necessary experience for anyone. but i suppose seeing the end of an era the end of a time just forces you to focus and build a new time. and though for the past five (almost 6 years) i have worked in a place with all my best friends and laughed and danced and did it with that kind of style, i think this next part is something about me going away to teach english or work on a farm or something. and not really listen anymore when i tell someone i want to be a writer or i want to make clothes and they ask what i want to do to make money or what my realistic goals are, when really the most realistic goal i have is to cut all of the negative rotten stuck in a box people from my life. so today i am going into work (where yesterday a woman told me she wanted to spit in my eye and i told her she was a ridiculous person) with franny and zooey under my arm, a coffee and journal in my hand, my denim jacket on my shoulders, and motorcycle boots on my feet. dressed to kick the walls out. just like anyone i've ever looked up to in history. and if all else fails, i will just live on the lamb.